


That Poor Goat

by PervyPenguin



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Birthdays, Gen, Gifts, Ritual Sacrifice, ebay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 03:43:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7492122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PervyPenguin/pseuds/PervyPenguin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Cas may go a little too far in getting a birthday present for Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Poor Goat

“Cas, are you sure we should be doing this?” 

Cas shot Sam a withering glare. “Sam, this is the only way we can win. You know the odds we’re up against.”

The hunter let out a long sigh. “Yeah, but a sacrifice ritual? That seems kind of extreme.”

“Honestly, Sam? Your brother has made demon deals, you have drunk demon blood, I have made deals with Crowley, but this is where you draw the line?” Cas shook his head. “It’s not even a demonic sacrifice, Sam! It’s a sacrifice directly to my Father!”

“That’s another thing! How weird is it that we’re making a sacrifice to Chuck of all people?!”

“Chuck is not my Father. Chuck is the vessel He chose and I believe He has picked up some traits from his vessel. Much as Jimmy Novak’s love of burgers transferred to me. My Father is beyond comprehension and even a vessel built for his use would be unable to contain al of Him.”

“Fine. I still say it’s weird.”

“Frankly, Sam, I don’t care what you think so long as you do it,” Cas snapped.

The room was quiet. Boxes had been pushed to the walls to clear a large space. An altar stood in the middle, gleaming with fake gold paint. The carvings were crude, awkward winged forms on all four sides. In the corner, a freshly slaughtered goat leaned against the wall, it’s blood stored in plastic containers. 

“Do you have any idea how hard it was to find not only a goat, but a butcher willing to slaughter it, leave it whole, and drain and store the blood?” Sam asked.

“I’m sorry, Sam. Were there any other way to do this, I would. If I still had my powers... “ Cas trailed off.

Sam looked sheepish. “I know, man.”

A strained silence grew between them. Cas broke it to explain the ritual. “First, we need to dedicate the altar to God. We will use holy oil, herbs and pray over it. We’ll then splash the blood over the sides of the altar and burn the sacrificial goat. We must keep the fire burning until the entire offering is burned.”

“And do you think the ventilation in here will be enough? I mean, if we wanna keep this from Dean, we sure as hell can’t burn the bunker to a crisp.”

Cas nodded. “I don’t know what the Men of Letters used this area for, but the exhaust system is very powerful. We should be able to vent the smoke directly outside.”

“All right then,” Sam said, clapping his hands together. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

In the end, they had to keep the fire burning for 6 hours. Both Sam and Cas were ready to face plant in their beds afterward, although Cas managed to stay awake long enough to win the fight. He finally slept, happy and secure in the knowledge that all was well.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

January 24

Birthdays had never been a major day for Dean. He barely remembered his earliest, those spent with his mom, and as a kid, he’d been too busy taking care of Sammy to celebrate. Once he was an adult, it seemed pretty ridiculous to do anything special. He’d hit up restaurants that gave out free food for birthdays, but that was about it. 

So imagine his surprise when he woke to find a large wrapped box on the table in the war room with his name on it. Gifts were just… not something he was used to. Dean was pretty sure the bunker was secure enough that no one could plant a booby trap but just in case he’d leave the box alone for now. He went about his morning routine, starting the coffee, rummaging around for the makings of breakfast. He had a plate full of bacon ready and had started on a pan of scrambled eggs when Cas and Sam wandered in. 

“Morning, Sam. Cas.”

Cas only grunted in reply. Sam gave a half-hearted “G’morning.”

“Did you guys see that box on the table? It’s got my name on it, but I wasn’t positive it wasn’t tampered with or something.” 

Cas squinted and tilted his head. “I thought it was a human custom to give loved ones gifts on their birthdays. Why would your gift be a trap?”

Dean froze. “My gift? I normally don’t do birthdays… You didn’t need to get me anything.”

“Regardless, I have gotten you a gift. With Sam’s help I was able to procure something I think you would enjoy,” Cas assured.

With the knowledge that the gift was safe, Dean couldn’t hold himself back. He pulled the eggs of the stove burner and rushed to the box. Sam and Cas followed, coffee cups tightly wrapped in their hands. Dean hastily tore off the bright paper and ripped open the box. Inside was an amazing collection of autographed Led Zeppelin memorabilia, all of it signed with authentication certificates: photographs, records, set lists, album covers, even signed concert tickets. A lump formed in Dean’s throat. 

“No way. How did you even find all this stuff?”

“A collector passed away; his family was selling this as a set on eBay,” Cas explained.

“Shit, this must have been so expensive. How did you manage to snag this?”

Cas and Sam shared an odd look. “Well... “

“You guys didn’t do anything stupid, did you?”

“No,” Cas said emphatically. “We simply asked for favor from my Father.”

“Just ‘asked for favor’? Are you sure that’s all?” Dean asked suspiciously.

“Well….”

“I knew it. What did you two idiots do to get this stuff?”

Sam coughed. “We may have sacrificed a goat.”

Dean’s eyes boggled. “What.”

“Cas said it would be good to give an offering, so God would be more likely to grant our request.”

Dean ran a palm down his face. “Oh my God.”

“It’s a perfectly safe and legitimate ritual, Dean,” Cas insisted.

“Ok. I’m really glad you guys got me this stuff. It’s an awesome present. But please… No more goat sacrificing, okay?”

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work for SPNColdestHits July Challenge: Hashtags. Here's the post/tags I used:  
> http://ao3tagoftheday.tumblr.com/post/147422893885/the-ao3-tag-of-the-day-is-the-sacrificial-urn-is


End file.
